10 Rules For Writing By J.S. Wayne!

I recently joined a writing group here in Cedar City, and one of the cool things they do is give an assignment every session. The focus of the last discussion and the assignment was for each member of the group to come up with their own list of the ten most important rules for writing. (Wait…you mean I get to get my snark on AND write? Irresistible!) So, in the spirit of getting back to my usual humorous standards while imparting some knowledge, here’s my personal top ten rules for writing!

Note: Editors, agents, and more seasoned authors may disagree with any or all of what’s written here. When in doubt, follow their lead instead of mine. This disclaimer has been made possible by a grant from the numbers 1, 3, and the letter BWA-HAHAHAHA!

Rule Number One: Be original!

There are 9,817 ways to fuck up a manuscript. Most people stick to THREE. If you’re going to make an egregious writing mistake, do your editor and your readers a favor and at least make it memorable!

Rule Number Two: Aspiring, my ass!

I LOATHE the words “aspire,” “aspiring,” and “aspired” as they apply to writing. If you write, you’re a writer. I don’t CARE what you write, I don’t even really care if it’s good. The simple act of writing makes you a writer. If you want to do it on a professional basis, that’s a somewhat different matter, but I still say “aspiring” does NOT belong in the lexicon of any writer with ambitions for publication. It’s self-denigrating and a waste of time, so don’t indulge in it.

Rule Number Three: If it looks good, leave it be.

Many authors (and agents) espouse the idea of editing and rewriting multiple times. I’m in the distinct minority here, but I stand by the assertion that if you handle a manuscript too much, you’ll kill it. Write it as you wrote it, address things that jump out at you as wrong, and otherwise let the editors do what they do. That’s their job, after all. My personal rule is that my stories get ONE run through and ONE beta rewrite. After that, it’s off to the publisher. Given my backlist, I’d say it works, but your mileage may vary.

Rule Number Four: Do you.

I’ve known a lot of writers who wanted to be the next (favorite author here). This is not only unfair to yourself, but to the author you’re trying to emulate. While imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, it’s all too easy to stumble across the line into plagiarism, intentionally or otherwise. If you want to write in a similar style to your favorite author, and have the chops to pull it off, great. But ultimately, it’s not THEIR name on your book and it’s not THEIR voice that’s going to convey to the reader, but yours. Don’t try to be someone else; do you.

Rule Number Five: Impossible Simultaneous Actions

This is a common mistake. A character’s bits and pieces *ahem* can only be in so many places and doing so many things at one time. If your MC is drawing a gun, reaching for his wallet, running at full speed, and going for a stick of chewing gum all at the same time, then unless they have an octocameral brain and four arms, this probably isn’t going to work out. He may pop the chewing gum into his mouth, then reach for his wallet, and THEN realize he needs to draw his gun and break into a sprint. This makes a lot more sense and lets the action flow more smoothly and logically. Even veteran writers can fall prey to this trap, so be careful.

Rule Number Six: Keep it real.

Even in a fantasy story, there has to be a cause and a consequence for every action. Two people walking up and peeling each others’ clothes off for no apparent reason may be sexy, but it’s not realistic. There has to be an underlying reason for people to do what they do. The cause could be something as simple as an exchanged look of mutual attraction or as complex as the storm of emotions accompanying a knock-down, drag-out lover’s quarrel. Make sure what your characters are doing is in line with what’s going on in the background.

Rule Number Seven: Give it a rest.

Neil Gaiman once famously quipped, “House burned down. Cat exploded. Wrote 1,500 easy words, so all in all, it was a good day.” A lot of writers figure if they get down a solid one to two thousand words a day, they’re doing well, and so they are. Depending on formatting, you’re talking about three to eight pages of writing in a sitting, especially if you go back and edit as you write. The key to writing well is to know your limits and work within them. On a good day, I can lay down eight to ten thousand words, but that kind of effort usually takes me at least a day, usually more, to recover from. If you’re writing, you’re not moving around too much, and that takes a toll on your fingers, wrists, arms, shoulders, neck, and back. Once you’ve hit your target for the day, you should STOP. (Unless you’re really on a roll and every word you type hangs fire on the page; in this case, by all means pray continue.)

Rule Number Eight: Get away.

I don’t know of many writers who can resist the allure of a blank page, especially when their brains are bursting with ideas for how to fill it. It’s very easy to let writing become the sole focus of your life and forget about frivolities such as hygiene, nourishment, and rest, never mind relaxation and play. When you’re done for the day, BE done. Don’t keep running back to your computer to make “just one more note” or fix that stubborn scene that didn’t gel quite right. If you must, get the hell out of the house and go putter in the garden, take a walk, or visit your neighbors. Burnout is caused by pushing beyond reasonable limits until one day, your body and your mind both look at you when you sit down to write and say “You’re out of your fucking MIND!” This causes what most people refer to as “writer’s block” (see below). Know when to walk away and be a person for a while.

Rule Number Nine: Research, research, research!

These days, finding information is simpler than ever before. One query string typed into a search engine can tell you just about everything you ever wanted to know about everything from the physiological effects of nerve gasses such as Sarin, VX, and mustard to the hot fashion trends for the coming season. Reading is wonderful, and being able to get information readily right at your fingertips is indispensable, but for some things, there’s just no substitute for experience. While I don’t recommend going out and decapitating the clerk who was rude to you in the grocery store two days ago just to get the action precisely right in a story, there are gentler and more pleasant things you can investigate, given a willing partner (or two, or three, or…). Why not make a point of setting aside a day for research? You’ll not only make your relationship stronger, but you’ll be able to get out of the house, do something new, and finally get that temperamental love scene under control, because you’ll KNOW the feelings and actions involved are accurate.

Rule Number Ten: The more it scares you, the more you need to write it!

I can’t count how many times I’ve had someone tell me “Oh, I can’t write _____,” only to turn around and do it brilliantly! If you’re not comfortable writing MM erotica, a ballerina on a pogo stick (apologies to Dean Koontz for appropriating this example), spiders from Mars (thanks, David Bowie!), or a new take on the Headless Horseman, then that’s all the more reason you SHOULD sit down and write it. Pushing your personal boundaries and preconceived limits is the best thing a writer can do, because even if it doesn’t work out in text, at least you know you tried something new. Who knows? It might even trigger an idea for another story!

Bonus Rule: Writing is NEVER wasted!

I’ve deleted probably two full-length novels’ worth of writing in the last two years, just because it didn’t seem to work with the project I had going on at the time. From personal experience, I can tell you that you should NEVER delete anything you write! Just because you can’t use it HERE doesn’t mean it won’t fit perfectly into a story over THERE. Save your writing, even if you think it’s shit now. At worst, it’ll give you a yardstick for just how far you’ve come with your craft!

Until next time,

Best,

J.S. Wayne

AUTHORS BEWARE!!! Freelance Scam Alert

There are a number of reputable companies with which freelance authors can do business. But I’m about to tell you a tale about one such company that has proved NOT to be. Please note that all experiences related here are my own and may or may not reflect other users’ experiences. However, I would strongly urge anyone contemplating using the company in question as a way of generating revenue to be VERY careful in their dealings.

After doing some homework, I thought http://Freelancer.com looked like a legitimate company with decent payouts. There was even a chance I could make a decent living doing three jobs a month for that place! I set up my account, started bidding on jobs…and I scored one! The job was a $600 contract, to be performed within ten days of receipt of the materials I needed. This appeared to be a good deal, so I jumped on it.

Within ten seconds, the account balance on my dashboard showed that I owed them $60, representing a 10% commission on the order price. Okay, I thought. As long as the client pays up, no problem.

However, days went by. And became weeks. No word from the client, no project materials, no payment. I wrote an email to the client; no answer. I wrote an email to Freelancer; standard “we’re looking into it and we’ll get back to you” reply, but no further follow-up.

All this came to a head earlier today. After almost a month of no response from the nominal client, I received an email from Freelancer informing me I needed to deposit money to cover the negative balance in my account.

Hi JSWayne,

Your Freelancer.com account balance is negative. Please deposit funds urgently!

Your account JSWayne may be temporarily suspended if your balance remains negative.
Please login to your account and deposit funds here: https://www.freelancer.com/users/

Your balance is:
USD: -60.00

Say what?!?!?

If the client doesn’t furnish me the things I need to do the job, I can’t perform. If I don’t do a job, I don’t get paid for the job. That being the case, how precisely am I supposed to pay a commission on work I never performed through no fault of my own and hence was never paid for?

I posed this question to “Eric” at Freelancer.com’s chat engine earlier this afternoon, when I inquired about closing my account so as to avoid any further liability. Eric informed me that it didn’t matter that the client did not fulfill the terms of the agreement; whether I got paid or not, whether the work was completed or not, I was still liable for the negative balance. At this point, I went from irritated straight past miffed into full-on pissed.

This backwards logic is typical of online companies today. Even more irksome is the fact that “Eric” refused to transfer me to a supervisor or give me a phone number to call where I could speak to an actual person. The only response he gave me was, “Sorry. Until you settle the negative balance, your account cannot be closed.” After some discussion back and forth, during which he became increasingly insulting and I became increasingly angry, I finally told “Eric,” “You have 73 minutes in which to have an email in my inbox stating that my account has been closed without prejudice. If I don’t have that email by that time, in 74 minutes a blog post goes live warning other authors to steer well clear.”

Guess which one they chose.

The brilliance of this scam lies in its simplicity. Whether the client makes good or not, whether the author gets paid or not, Freelancer.com is going to make their 10% commission. And they’ve made it quite plain they don’t care whether the author gets shafted in the process or not. Oddly, their site also does not have a clearly defined link to their TOS to show where it is written that Freelancer has the right to claim a commission from an author if the author isn’t paid for a given order.

If any authors out there have a positive experience to report with this company, I’d love to hear it. I also invite a representative from Freelancer.com to come over and leave a comment explaining exactly how this somehow isn’t a scam that preys on authors just trying to make a living from their craft. If it’s not a scam, then why do authors bear the onus of paying the commission, rather than the commission being deducted from the initial payment? After all, these payments (allegedly; I can’t speak to the truth of this for obvious reasons) are filtered through Freelancer’s payment system before being transferred on.

Until and unless Freelancer.com cleans up their act or can give a compelling reason why authors should trust them, I would suggest staying far away.  If you want to earn some money dealing with a company whose terms and conditions are clearly written, I suggest a company such as Textbroker.com. There’s no sense in throwing away money to no purpose. After all…isn’t that WHY you’re freelancing in the first place?

Until next time,

Best,

J.S. Wayne

Reblogging and other sharing, with proper attribution, is not only authorized but encouraged.

Special Guest: Shen Hart and Literary+!

Shen hasn’t been around the bar much lately, and I found out why the other day. Seems she’s been forming an authors’ networking and mutual-aid group on Google Plus, which I’m pleased to say I’m now a member of! Today, she’s here to tell us all about, as only she can.

Ladies and gentlemen:

Shen Hart!

J.S has been kind enough to offer me a spot here on his blog today so that I can tell you about the exciting new project I am organising, leading and developing. Literary+ is something I have incredibly passionate about. It all started when I was talking to various self-pub writer friends about their marketing and how they just do not have the time, resources or knowledge to promote themselves effectively and efficiently. I have no doubt this may seem completely insane to you but I absolutely love marketing. I’m also a writer, and my purpose here is to help people. So this project brings together my passions, add in my determination, drive and ambitions and well, I’m in my element! 

So you’re probably wondering what exactly Literary+ is, well:

Literary+ is a writer based project brought together and lead by Shen Hart. It brings together passionate, quality self-published writers to help each other promote their work, bringing more readers to every member. It was sparked by the simple fact that there are many top quality self-published authors being over-looked because they do not have the time and resources to effieciently and effectively market and promote themselves. With ambition and passion, Literary+ will take it’s members to the heights they deserve through a tight-knit community of like-minded writers. 

At the moment Literary+ is based on Google+. However, I’m very excited and proud to say that 42wd publishing have taken us under their wing. With their aid and resources we will take Literary+ to the dizzying heights I firmly believe that all the fantastic writers within our ranks deserve. 

The heart of this project is a passion for the craft coupled with top quality content and end products. There will be absolutely no spam, no reviews without first having read the book. My aim is to make sure, Literary+ will become a brand recognised as one of quality. I believe this is the perfect time to be pushing into the self-publishing industry and I fully intend on taking these wonderful people along an exciting path, to fulfil their true potential and dreams. 

Soon we will have an official blog and page on Google+ but until then, you can find me over there:

https://plus.google.com/112678886363980943840/posts

Also take a moment to check out 42wd publishing - http://42wdpublishing.blogspot.co.uk/

A big thanks to J.S for giving me the time and blog-space to share my excitement and pride at this fantastic project!

Swagger

This one’s been brewing for a while.

Everyone defines “swagger” a little differently, but everyone knows it when they see it. Bogey, The Duke, Clint Eastwood, Clark Gable, Tom Cruise in his earlier screen incarnations, Brad Pitt, and George Clooney are all examples of guys who had or still have “swagger.” But what is this elusive quality?

I personally define swagger as more of a confluence of attitudes and traits than any particular individual quality. There’s a reason people with swagger are respected and even loved, whatever their behavior. You don’t need money to have swagger, but God knows it helps! Here’s my personal list of what it takes to have swagger. I’m interested to see the comments on this one!

1) Chivalry

Just this morning at a convenience store, I let a couple of ladies get ahead of me in line. Why? Because they were ladies. One woman remarked that guys who even ATTEMPT to be polite and chivalrous today are a dying breed, and this is regrettably true. I’ve seen too many men huff and puff and try to act “hard” in the presence of ladies. Result? They look like assholes, and rightly so.

Having swagger doesn’t mean knowing and trying to use every possible iteration of the F-bomb in a single sentence. In fact, many of the most swagger-having men around say exactly what they’ve got to say and let it be. A guy who uses a lot of words when a few will do, especially when his statement is liberally peppered with expletives, demonstrates only a verbose vocabulary and a need to compensate for either a small intellect or a small dick. The strong, silent type is far more attractive than bluster and chest-thumping, and few women consider a guy who cusses every time he opens his mouth to be anything but a boor (bore? I suppose both apply here).

An aside: Yes, I’m well aware I tend to swear a fair amount in my posts, but I do so only when the situation calls for it. As Jim Butcher put it, “The entire practice of invective was developed to add extra emphasis.” This doesn’t mean it should be abused, as too many rappers today do, but there’s a big difference between an occasional oath and cussing every other word.

A guy who can demonstrate erudition coupled with brevity, who minds his manners around ladies, and who behaves like a gentleman is the essence of swagger.

2) Attitude

Confidence is everything, but cockiness doesn’t get you anything but ignored. There’s a line some men have learned to walk right on the division between the two, such as Tom Cruise in Top Gun, but overall confidence mingled with a certain amount of vulnerability is the ideal endgame.

“Say it with some swagger or don’t say it at all, pilgrim.”

Being sure of yourself isn’t the same thing as being full of yourself. I know I’m a good writer, but I try very hard not to compare myself to better-established and recognized authors. (Although, under the influence of a strong whiskey and coke, it’s been known to happen.) The biggest reason is, I’m NOT Koontz, King, Butcher, KevaD, et al. I’m J.S. Wayne. That’s either going to be good enough or it’s not, no matter how long I spend on my craft or how much I’d love to have reviewers say “Reminiscent of (your favorite author here) at his best!” about my work.

Part of having confidence in yourself is a willingness to stand up for what you believe and know to be right, regardless of circumstances. I personally have no time or patience for a seemingly endless maze of stupid rules which confer no real benefit and create unnecessary obstacles, or for people who make things unnecessarily complicated. I’m also not too good at keeping my opinions to myself. When I see something that isn’t right, I make it known. If I have disdain for something, I don’t keep it in. I believe in giving almost every situation and every person a chance, but once that chance is blown, it takes a written note in God’s own handwriting on official Heavenly letterhead and two acts of Congress to convince me to change my opinion.

3) Live by the code.

The code here is not as simple as “My daddy did it, so I should too.” It’s not something you’re ever really taught, although our Western moral compass does have certain engrained values and philosophies which are a good idea to adopt. The code I’m referring to is the code of ethics, morals, and interpersonal relations every person has, whether they realize it or not. This code is built up over a lifetime, and defines where our lines are drawn. “If this happens, I’m going to . . . ” is an example. “If Such-and-So says one more stupid thing to her, I’m going to go have a talk with him.”

“I’m gettin’ tired of your gas . . . “

Every person’s moral code is a little different, but the mark of someone with swagger is that they live by their code without deviation. They don’t always do what others view as the conventionally “right” thing, but they always act in the best interests of the maximum number of people, even if their methods occasionally appear shady. In the end, a person’s moral code and how well they adhere to their own unique set of beliefs and strictures dictates how much swagger they really have.

4) Be you.

This seems so simple, but so many people overlook it. I am what I am: a man, with a man’s contradictions. I don’t always wear a white hat, and sometimes I can be an outright asshole. When I do behave that way, I apologize if and when it’s appropriate, but it depends on the circumstances. If I’m being a jerk because some guy cut in front of a lady in the line, because someone told me a bald-faced lie, or because a given person or entity is being blatantly and artificially stupid *cough PayPal cough*, there’s no way in Hell I’m apologizing, no matter what the consequences.

“We can talk this out like gentlemen or we can settle it with lead.”

But that doesn’t mean I seek out opportunities to be an asshole. On the whole, I try to be a nice guy, do unto others as I want them to do unto me, and live by and honor my own beliefs, values, and codes. I’ll open a door for a woman, pull out a chair, and try to tone my language down. At the same time, I don’t suffer fools, insults, or rude people lightly. I’m the first to admit to not picking my battles as carefully as I could sometimes, and when a woman or a kid’s involved, well . . . that’s when my tolerance goes right out the window.

It’s all a part of me, folks. And that’s what gives me MY swagger.

What about yours?

Until next time,

Best,

J.S. Wayne

Author’s note: As always, I do not own the images portrayed here, nor in this case do I make any warranty as to the accuracy of the quotes assigned to caption each picture. Each image and caption is intended solely in a humorous spirit and for purposes of illustration and no copyright infringement is intended or should be inferred.

A Sampling Of My Favorite Blog Posts

The pressure’s on, folks!

Between the endless hoops required to gain admission to college nowadays, not least of which is determining what my best course of study is to get where I want to be, three stories I’m trying to get done within the next ten days, and the ins and outs of everyday life right now, coming up with a new blog post has pretty much triggered a constant and enduring brain cramp that simply refuses to go away. However, I have two pieces of news before I get into the main thrust of this blog:

First, I have been officially accepted to Southern Utah University, where I’ll be majoring in English with a creative writing emphasis. (If you’re a long-time follower of this blog and you somehow thought I’d be going into accounting, please leave a comment with your email address so I can send you a video of me pointing and laughing!*)

Second, I was fortunate enough to make connections with Megan O’Sullivan, the owner of Braun Books in Cedar City, UT. Having made her acquaintance, I managed to wrangle an invitation to give a reading at her store. So, if you happen to be in or near Cedar City on September 8th, 2012, at 7:30 pm, stop on in and say howdy! I hope to be able to post something official within the next month or so here at the bar, as well as various places around town, so stay tuned!

In this connection: I am actively looking for questions from readers to answer at this reading. While I can’t promise every question will be answered at the reading, I do assure you that every question will be answered either on this blog or via email, so drop me a line at jswayne702@gmail.com and fire away!

While thinking about ways to explain myself to my audience, it occurred to me that I’d already come up with the perfect tagline. If I wasn’t so in love with the “Writer: (n) A supernatural creature…” bit, I’d use this instead. And who can say but I won’t in the future? That, in turn, led to me studying many of my past blog posts, particularly those in places where I’ve been guests, and choosing a few of my favorites. So, here are five links to what I consider to be some of my best, funniest, and most enjoyable posts. If you missed them, please check them out. For my newer readers, if you want a basic primer on what I’m all about, these are probably the best way to get a good taste of what to expect from me.

http://tabithablake.blogspot.com/2011/08/male-romance-writer-without-apologies.html

http://www.authorsden.com/visit/viewnewsletter.asp?AuthorID=623&id=10375 (A download, but well worth the time and effort. Gracie McKeever did a LOT of homework for this interview, so I hope you’ll check it out!)

http://nobleauthors.blogspot.com/2011/03/facepalm-headdesk-wtf-and-other-epic.html (An example of just how wrong a writer’s day can really go!)

http://nobleauthors.blogspot.com/2011/04/computer-gremlins-blog-touring-and.html (Another example of how wrong a writer’s day can go, with the added bonus of some insights as to my personal feelings about punctuality or lack thereof)

http://somewriteithot2.blogspot.com/2011/06/thinking-like-man-js-wayne.html (Talking about the emotional wrestling writing a gay romance as a het author can cause)

Enjoy the posts, and if you think of a question you’d like to have answered at the reading (which I’m planning to record and subsequently post), please don’t be shy about emailing or posting! In the meantime, I’ve got another post scheduled for Monday, at which time I’ll be discussing some other things going on in the mad little world of J.S. Wayne!

*I would never actually be that crass. If I’m going to point and laugh, I’ll do it in private.

Until next time,

Best,

J.S. Wayne

 

Censorship And PayPal: UnConstitutional and WRONG

Edit: Here is the link to the official petition concerning this matter: http://www.thepetitionsite.com/7/stop-internet-censorship/

If you enjoy having the right to write and read what you choose as a law-abiding, consenting adult without interference from financiers, please consider taking time to sign this petition. It’s YOUR right.

As Yogi Berra would say: It’s deja vu all over again.

A while back, I spoke on this blog about my frustration and anger with PayPal. The issue at the time was that they unilaterally froze my account because I bought $6 worth of novellas from Astraea Press in aid of a charity drive. I later reviewed these books, only to learn to my chagrin that PayPal had denied the payment and frozen my account.

After this disagreeable incident, I finally decided I’d had quite enough of PayPal and their unreasonably restrictive clauses. After all, no one has the right to view my purchases and tell me which ones are acceptable and which are not. I’m an adult male in the United States of America, and as such I enjoy all the rights and freedoms guaranteed by the Constitution.

Or do I?

PayPal doesn’t seem to think so. Bookstrand issued a warning to some of its authors and publishers earlier today, stating that if they didn’t take down content which conflicts with PayPal’s nebulous and ever-shifting (but always preachy) Terms of Service, PayPal would cease processing transactions.

As Bookstrand is one of the largest online vendors of erotic romance, this creates a very thorny and frightening atmosphere for authors of all stripes. Bookstrand specified in their statement (reprinted from Tessie L’Amour’s blog, which you can read here) :

Dear Publisher,

We were informed by PayPal, without notice, and by our credit card processing company, that we are required to remove all titles at BookStrand.com with content containing incest, pseudo incest, rape, and bestiality, effective immediately.

We request that you immediately log into your account and unpublish all titles that contain the restricted content. If you have uploaded titles containing restricted content and do not unpublish these titles as we are requesting, we will deactivate your entire publisher account, which will remove all your titles from sale.

Now, wait a minute here.

As Ms. L’Amour so astutely notes, this leaves a truly frightening amount of territory open. I can see people not wanting to read incest stories, but I also know a lot of people enjoy them when the people involved are consenting adults. The rape restriction is understandable, to a degree, but what about women and men who indulge in such fantasies as a means of relinquishing sexual control? Rape in itself is a horrible, violent, demeaning and cruel act which has little to do with sex as such and everything to do with asserting one’s power over another. Fantasy, however, is another matter entirely. Bestiality? Hey, I don’t get it myself, but if someone happens to be into horses in that way and I don’t have to see it, whatever cranks your motor.

The point I’m making here is that by PayPal flexing its muscles in such a heavy-handed manner, it is engaging in censorship and stifling the voices of authors everywhere. Will they next demand that John Sanford’s Prey series be pulled from the shelves, as these books contain depictions of pedophilia, rape, and acts of violence? How about Tom Sawyer, Catcher in the Rye, or any book containing the “N-bomb?”

Or, hey, I know! Let’s make sure that we as adults don’t have frank and honest discussions about human sexuality. Let’s go back to relegating GLBTQA fiction to the basement where certain mouthy members of the dwindling minority insist it belongs. Let’s not talk about pedophilia or child abuse in any form, even if we speak from first-hand experience, lest we offend someone who’d rather go through life with blinders on. (For the record, I DO NOT and HAVE NEVER supported depictions of child abuse or molestation for titillation as remotely acceptable. However, to refuse to acknowledge it at all strikes me as singularly short-sighted and a prime example of ostrich logic.)

A particularly blunt, forthright, and applause-worthy response to PayPal’s attempt to use its power as the leading Internet finance facilitator to censor its account holders’ activities was issued by No Boundaries Press some six hours before I began writing this blog:

We understand that Bookstrand has to follow guidelines given to them from the sources they take payment from. This also means that there will be certain books we have to remove from there…as well as certain books that we won’t be able to place there at all.

With that being said, it could be possible that our other vendor sites will have to follow in Bookstrand’s footsteps and update to the same requirements.

No Boundaries has researched today and we will be updating our storefront to a different payment source from PayPal. When/If the time comes that PayPal forces store fronts into the same thing, NBP will be ready with PayPal alternative for our readers and authors.

If you’re an author, you should be feeling a distinct chill right now. After all, being an author is all about freedom of speech and expression. This is a clear attempt by PayPal to censor authors and force them to write only what PayPal deems “acceptable” fare for its readers. Never mind that pesky First Amendment to the United States Constitution, which states:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Let’s review that. Congress, the duly appointed representative body (at least in theory) of the American people is prohibited by the nation’s highest law from passing any law abridging the freedom of speech or the press. If Congress can’t, then where does PayPal get off thinking they CAN?

If you’re a reader, you should be absolutely furious. This bold, big, bad move by PayPal will directly limit what your favorite authors can and cannot write, and hence what you can and cannot read. Ultimately, it paves the way for much harsher restrictions upon the content of fiction of all types.

So what can you do?

For starters, if at all possible, stop using PayPal immediately. Let them know that we, the people, are still the final arbiters of right and wrong. PayPal only has the power we give them. By closing your account and thus stripping them of their power as an entity until they cease this illegal activity, you can show them we mean business.

Next, write a letter to PayPal letting them know how you feel about this issue. Whether you’re a professional author or a reader, your voice needs to be heard. The greater an outcry we create, the more likely it is PayPal will be forced to understand they’re breaking the law and violating our First and Fourth Amendment rights.

(Oh! Did I forget to mention that one? Here you go:)

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

See above, concerning PayPal’s unilaterally and without notice seizing funds from people who do things they don’t like. With no warrant and no probable cause, no oversight by a judge or justice of the peace, and no legal right to do so except their own Terms of Service, which are subordinate to the laws of the United States of America, and yes, that means the Constitution.

Here are a list of all the pertinent email addresses (I advise copying the list in its entirety into your email addressing bar). All email addresses here were obtained through http://screw-paypal.com/paypal_contact_information.html. The author makes no warranty as to the accuracy or currency of any address included herein.

mbarrett@paypal.com (Michael Barrett, Chief Information Security Officer)

executiveoffice@paypal.com

harbor1@paypal.com

ppelce@paypal.com

complaint-response@paypal.com

abuse@paypal.com

Europeanservices@paypal.com

resolutions@paypal.com

appeals@paypal.com

compliance@paypal.com

webform@paypal.com

service@paypal.com (Unmonitored)

spoof@paypal.com

aup@paypal.com

press@paypal.com (Let public relations know you are filing complaints)

apires@paypal.com (Amanda Pires — Media Relations Contact)

pending_reversal@paypal.com

global2@paypal.com

intl@paypal.com

ppe_courtesycredit@paypal.com

Finally, encourage your friends, family, and business associates (including your favorite book publishers) to seek out other methods of online payment, such as prepaid debit cards or other financial services in competition with PayPal.

We cannot remain a free society if anyone has or assumes the right to deprive us of our most basic freedoms under the law. Censorship hurts readers and authors alike. Don’t let this battle be lost because you didn’t believe your voice could make a difference.

One voice is all it takes. And if one doesn’t do it, we’ll find two, four, eight, as many as it takes. DO NOT ALLOW CENSORSHIP to destroy our freedom, not from our appointed representatives, and certainly not from people who are supposed to do one thing and one thing only: move money around.

If y’all will excuse me . . . I have a letter to write.

EDIT:

Here is a copy of the letter I sent to PayPal.

To Whom It Concerns:

        PayPal has sunk to a new low. By attempting to enforce a nebulous moral code upon your users, from personal to large businesses, you have violated the First and Fourth Amendments to the United States Constitution, to wit: freedom of speech and the press and the right to be secure in one’s person, home, effects, and papers. Your Terms of Service are still subject to the law, and no one is above the Constitution. I myself have been a victim of your violations of my Fourth Amendment rights on more than one occasion. I refuse to permit myself or any other individual to fall prey to your attack on authors’ and publishers’ freedom of speech and the press.

        For this reason, I am writing you to advise you that I and others have reported this matter in the blogosphere; that we are communicating our displeasure at your heavy-handed attempt to enforce morality through manipulation of interstate commerce; and that you can expect an onslaught of negative publicity and a torrent of letters such as mine. I am also remitting copies of this letter to the District Attorneys of the States of Nevada and Texas and to the Federal Circuit Courts having jurisdiction in these areas, as I am quite certain you have violated no less than two and in all likelihood more Constitutional Amendments by your actions. In addition, rest assured I will be forwarding this letter to local and national news outlets for their perusal.

         I should be very surprised if you do not also receive, at some point in the very near future, a class-action lawsuit against PayPal by those customers, present and former, whom you have mistreated and whose property and rights were misappropriated by PayPal in the past and present. I am personally and publicly urging my PayPal-using friends, family, and business associations to seek alternative methods of online payment. As a former customer, I can assure you this entire affair has not encouraged me to resume any form of business relationship with PayPal or its affiliate companies. As an author of material PayPal may find “objectionable,” I find your actions utterly beneath contempt.

Best,J.S. WayneWriter: (n) A supernatural creature with the ability to alchemically transform caffeine, nicotine, and a dictionary into literature.

Until next time,

Best,

J.S. Wayne

Author’s note: I encourage any reader of this blog to reblog, repost, Tweet and republish the content herein, with proper accreditation, and to feel free to use any portion of this blog, with proper accreditation, for your own blogs and other social media. Spread the word, folks.

Bad Novels! (Or, What The Hell Did I Just Read?!)

I’ll be announcing the winner of H.C. Brown’s contest (simply see the post below this one) tomorrow. In the meantime, however, I wanted to take a minute or two and parse this gem I learned about from Publisher’s Weekly. Kindly refrain from reading this if you are eating, drinking, or there is any possibility you may need to use the bathroom. I will NOT be responsible for any property damage incurred.

With that disclaimer out of the way, on to the show.

You see, it seems every quarter or so, they find a book that is so hideously, demoralizingly bad that for a reader to merely let their eyes roam over the cover assures they will sacrifice fifty IQ points to the mighty god “Durrrrr….”

I can say this with some authority, having just read some choice snippets from one such book. I flatly refuse to name it here, for one simple reason: I can spell. Not only is the cover beyond cheesy (unfortunate, but not a crime) but simply reading the first paragraph of the first chapter left me with a brain cramp that simply would not go away.

I’m all for someone putting themselves out there, warts and all, and seeing what they can make of their stories. Hell, I did it myself with Shadowphoenix: Requiem. Is it a masterpiece of modern literature? Probably not. The Great American Novel? Pardon me while I snicker into my sleeve. (Again.) Is it as tightly written or edited as it might have been? Certainly not. In the last eighteen months, I’ve learned almost as much about writing as I had in the previous fifteen years.

However, for all that, I at least made an effort. I “showed” far more than I “told,” ensured my spelling was absolutely letter perfect (unless I had a compelling reason NOT to, as in certain sequences of dialogue), and USED QUOTATION MARKS!

In the particular opus that sparked this rant, none of the above conditions are met. Okay. This wouldn’t be the first author I’ve ever encountered who didn’t have the patience or temperament to deal with the fussy and obscure “rules” of English literature and decided to hurl their work to the wolves. That takes a considerable amount of chutzpah and a lot of very large spheroids, and I can applaud that. But what really astounded and puzzled me is that this author not only had the gall to put out TWO sequels, but managed to delude a number of other people into considering his work “real literater.” (I wish to God I was making THAT up . . . )

In a very real and non-exaggerated way, the reviews on Amazon for this particular book are much more entertaining than the book itself. These people are falling all over themselves to be the first to hail this author as a literary genius, a kind of Everyman of American letters. One particularly vehement apologist for this author stated that she enjoyed his work because “he writes like people talk.”

I choked on my tea and cast a longing glance at the bottle of Captain Morgan Rum atop my refrigerator when I read that. I don’t give a damn if it was 9:30 a.m. when I read that, some things just shouldn’t have to be endured, least of all in the morning, without a little medicine to help smooth out the rough edges. However, I feel very noble and virtuous in reporting that I read the entire article, start to finish. And then noticed something that seemed so ludicrous it demanded further investigation. Three articles later, my cramping brain demanded I give it a reprieve or risk my skull exploding.

That such a novel could make its way onto the virtual bookshelves is, tragically, not far-fetched at all. What really horrifies me is the TWO SEQUELS! If you’re wondering why self-published works get no respect, it’s because novels like this one exist.

I’d like to say more . . . but I just poured myself a glass of rum. Now I’m going to huddle under my blankets and try to convince myself this has all been a horrible nightmare. Hopefully I’ll emerge to a world that’s sane and safe for literature.

But I’m not holding my breath.

If you’d like to see what exactly I’m on about, you can find the link HERE. Like I said . . . I refuse to speak the name of this abomination on my site, for fear of drawing that very cacodemon to my own demesne.

Until next time,

Best,

J.S. Wayne

 

Invisible Efforts…

You’d never know it to look at the traffic on my blog, but I’ve been one busy cat lately! So I figured, since I’ve finally reached a point where things are a little more mellow, I should check in and let everyone know what I’ve been up to!

First, if you missed it, Barbara Mazzuca, Limecello, and Zee Monodee were both kind enough to have me on their blogs in the past week or so. Brave ladies! So stop by and take a look to see what the latest stirrings are on “Dead Means Dead” and the Lesbians Vs. Zombies line, which was kicked off yesterday with KevaD’s screwball comedy “The Zombie With Flowers In Her Hair.”

Second: Most of this past week has been exclusively dedicated to Writing Out Child Abuse, with the exception of taking care of the day job. Contracts, edits, emails back forth with what occasionally feels like half the free world, and trying to get my own contributions up to scratch and ready to go have pretty thoroughly dominated my time. But, I’m pleased to report that we’re about halfway done, which should put the final draft in Laurie Sanders’ hands right on schedule. One of the things I did tonight was take this picture, intended for the cover of A Light In The Darkness:

Hey, I’m no Ansel Adams, but I think I’m on to something here!

In the next several days, I’m hoping to have cover art and edits for “Dead Means Dead” and to have my stories for A Light In The Darkness completed and good to go. Meanwhile, the day job and the other things I’ve set in motion still demand their pounds of flesh. . . and they’re going to get them! Not like I couldn’t stand to lose a pound or two anyway . . .

Sorry for being absent lately. I’m going to try to be better about posting here, but that doesn’t always happen. But for now, I hope everyone understands it’s not neglect; I’m just really, insanely busy right now!

Until next time,

Best,

J.S. Wayne

Reviewing Matters

As a writer, I don’t necessarily like to hear that someone doesn’t enjoy my work. After all, it IS work and I give my work (probably a lot more than) its due attention. But I understand that not everyone is going to enjoy my work and I don’t take it personally.

What really hurts is when I don’t hear anything at all about my work. Not good, not bad, not middle-of-the-road. And I’ll tell you why:

Reviews help authors as a barometer of what they’re doing that’s working and not. One review that isn’t glowing probably doesn’t mean much; get four or five of the same comment, and it’s time to listen up.  Authors rely on reviews to help us sell our work, and so naturally , we hope for great reviews every time. Life in the real world doesn’t work that way, and most of us get that.

Back before Twilight became the megalithic monstrosity it is today, when you could walk down the street without seeing the likenesses of Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, and Taylor Lautner brooding at you every three point seven inches, it started out as a book like any other. And like any other author, Stephenie Meyer relied on book reviews and word of mouth to get the word out about her work.

Now, I’m not weighing the relative merit (or lack thereof) of Twilight. Whether you’re a Twihard, a Twi-hater, or simply wish the last movie would drop so we can stop being bludgeoned with watered-down, overly angsty versions of vampires and werewolves, the fact remains that someone read the books. A LOT of someones. And those someones talked about it. They blogged it, Facebooked it, Tweeted it.

People tell people things. If I tell one person X, and they tell two people, and each of those two people tells two people . . . before long, you have a phenomenon. This is what authors count on when they publish their work: That word of mouth will attract new readers and hence more revenue, which in turn leads directly to the ability to write more work.

Reviewers and readers are the most powerful force in a writer’s universe.  Moreso than editors, beta readers, or even publishers. I say that because there’s only so much a writer can do. Or an editor. Or a publisher. Once the publisher rolls out “The Secret Lives Of Fruit Of The Looms” or whatever the next book is, it’s up to the author to push it and attract interest. But what keeps a good book rolling or dooms it to obscurity?

That’s right. Readers. And not just readers: readers who take the time to tell the author what they think about their work. People who tell others, either through word of mouth, on a blog post, or on a recognized review site, “Buy this book” or “don’t waste your time.”

You hear horror stories about authors who get into flame wars or outright pissing contests with reviewers when they don’t like what the reviewer has to say. In my experience, this is rare. Most writers, when confronted with a bad review, will either thank the reviewer politely for their honesty or say nothing at all.

At least, not publicly. Oh, sure, I may cry in my beer with a friend or two if it’s really THAT bad, but once I’m done, the only thing I’m likely to say in public is, “Thank you for taking the time to review XXX. I’m sorry it didn’t meet your standards, but I appreciate your honesty.” If I want to freak out, tear my hair, question the reviewer’s parentage, intelligence, humanity, or accuse them of having unnatural carnal relations with goats, I will. But I’ll do it privately, where NO ONE will hear about it.

So, with all that said: Readers, please. If you enjoy a story, take five minutes and let the author, and other readers, know. It takes only a few minutes out of your day to leave a comment on the author’s blog, a blurb on Amazon or the publisher’s website . . . hey, even a Tweet beats nothing! It’ll help make a writer’s day if nothing else, and you never know what might come of you sharing your thoughts about someone’s work.

And writers: Seriously. If you’re flaming reviewers because they had the audacity not to recognize that you really are the reincarnated greatness of Dickens, Hemingway, and Hammett all in one package . . . grow the hell up. Have a drink, have a pity party, do what you’re gonna do. But stop giving your fellow authors a bad name and making reviewers gun-shy about speaking their minds!

Just my own personal, folks. That and five bucks MIGHT get you coffee at Starbucks.

Until next time,

Best,

J.S. Wayne

 

Guest Post: Using Your Ereader to Discover New Authors by Cassandra Carr

My guest today is an excellent author with a HOT new release out! I’ve played over at her house, so today, the bar’s all hers. Ladies and gentlemen:

Cassandra Carr!

I’ve had a Nook since they first came out, and my wonderful husband bought me a Kindle Fire for Christmas this year. I don’t know about you, but when I get a shiny new ereader I can’t wait to load it up with books. But which books?

Now, I could tell you to go out and buy my books, but that’s not what I’m going to do (though if you want to do that I’ll be eternally grateful!). Instead I’m going to talk about ebook sampling. What is ebook sampling? Basically, websites like Barnes & Noble.com and Amazon.com let you read an excerpt from a book before buying it. Samples tend to be about 15 pages long, though some may be longer or shorter depending on the length of the story.

Why am I a fan of sampling? Because sometimes the blurb sounds great, but the style of writing, etc just isn’t something you’ll enjoy. If you’re able to read a sample of a book, though, usually you have a better idea of how much you’ll enjoy it. Additionally, readers who sample first will hopefully be less likely to return the book or give it a negative review, because they were able to get an idea of the content of the book before buying.

I spoke to several authors while writing this post, and they universally agreed with me. We’d rather have readers sampling and then buying then buying blind and perhaps not liking our work. So don’t be afraid to sample!

BIO:

Cassandra Carr is a multi-published erotic romance writer who lives in Western New York with her husband, Inspiration, and her daughter, Too Cute for Words. When not writing she enjoys watching hockey and hanging out on Twitter. Her debut novel, Talk to Me, was released by Loose Id on March 22, 2011. Head Games, Buffalo Intimidators book 1, released on November 2, 2011 from Siren Bookstrand. Caught released December 6, 2011 from Loose Id, and Impact is coming February 1, 2012 from Ellora’s Cave. For more information about Cassandra, check out her website at http://www.booksbycassandracarr.com, “like” her Facebook fan page athttp://www.facebook.com/AuthorCassandraCarr or follow her on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/Cassandra_Carr.

BUY LINKS:

Siren Bookstrand

Amazon.com

Barnes & Noble

–
Cassandra Carr

“It’s a job. It’s not a hobby.” — Rosellen Brown

Website: http://www.booksbycassandracarr.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/AuthorCassandraCarr
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/cassandra_carr

While Cassandra’s here today, she was nice enough to drop an excerpt from her latest story, “Head Games,” for your entertainment!

“I can’t take it anymore!” Leo Laporte, goaltender for the Buffalo Intimidators, glared at his teammates as they glided past him after the third goal in the first ten minutes of the game was scored. “You guys either play some fucking defense or I’ll jam my stick where the sun don’t shine! You got that?” Crouching down into his stance, he banged said stick on each post just as he did before every face-off at center ice. Looking up, he saw the head coach, Tom, waving at him. A quick glance to Tom’s left showed his goaltending partner, Scott Schaeffer, warming up. “Fuck!”
Tom called a time-out, and Leo skated to the bench, bracing for the tirade. “You guys need to get your heads outta your asses, pronto. You’re down by three already and the game’s hardly even ten minutes old. Since you don’t seem to want to play for Leo tonight, we’ll see how you do with Scott in net.” Tom threw a sympathetic look Scott’s way. “Good luck saving anything with these jackasses in front of you.” Tom wasn’t known for mincing words, and tonight was no exception.
Leo opened the door to the bench and squeezed around one of the team’s hulking defensemen as best he could.
Glaring at the man, he thought, Slug’s not good for much tonight. Certainly not getting out of my way.
The guy was built like a tank and made a much better door than he did a window, as Leo could attest on that third goal. The puck had been in the net before Leo had even been able to react.
Leo clapped Scott on the shoulder. “Good luck, man.”
Scott nodded and took the ice. Performing a few quick stretches in the crease, he raised his catching glove to signal his readiness to continue play. Leo sat down, taking a long pull from a water bottle he’d grabbed from the shelf in front of him. No one said a word to him, which was just fine.
The team responded to Scott being in net and scored two goals by the end of the first. Leo stalked into the dressing room, heading straight for the can. Just as he’d planned, by the time he got out, the second period was about to start. Tom told him he was going to continue to play Scott to see if they couldn’t salvage the game, and Leo nodded. It irked him that he’d been left out to dry, but he also knew damn well they’d done the same to Scott in the past. It was one of those weird hockey things no one could put a finger on, and Leo didn’t even try.
After trundling back to the bench for the second period, his stomach growled. The noise caused his mind to wander, straight to the tall, curvy woman with a mess of curls his hands just itched to plunge into. Right now, Kelly Chase was probably pulling her famous apple pie out of the oven at the bistro where he and Scott had been going for dinner after games for nearly a year. Thinking about seeing her made his cock harden inside his jock and he willed it down. Having a hard-on when wearing a cup was a pretty damn unpleasant experience—one he wasn’t eager to go through at the moment.
He’d bet she knew he’d been pulled, but he’d also put money on the fact that if anyone made an ass-hatted comment about why, she’d shut them right up. Kelly knew her hockey, and she watched every game on the big screen TV housed behind the counter at her bistro as best she could in between cooking meals for the customers. He could almost smell her special sour cream apple pie. She only made it on home game days when she knew Leo and Scott would be coming in afterward for their postgame meal. She’d even named it after the team, calling it “Intimidating Apple Pie.” There was sure as hell nothing intimidating about it, but it was definitely sinful, which was just how he liked it.
Thinking about her and her pie brought his mind to other subjects, like what she was most likely wearing that night. It drove him crazy the way she dressed in these cute little light-pink T-shirts with “Kelly’s” emblazoned on the front, right across her ample breasts. Even her chef’s clogs—also light pink—were cute. But her body wasn’t cute. It was sexy as hell. She was all bumps and curves, in all the right places. She wasn’t a dainty little thing, standing only about an inch shorter than his five foot ten, and he loved that about her.It gave him something to hold on to, should he ever be blessed with the opportunity to get into her checkered chef’s pants.
Leo was jerked out of his lust-hazed stupor by the “heads up” shout from his teammates. A puck was sailing right for him, and he automatically knocked it down with his blocker before it could do any damage. He didn’t wear his goalie mask on the bench, and if his reflexes weren’t lightning quick, he would’ve taken a puck right to his grill.
Head in the game, Leo.
Settling back, he watched his team tie it up by the end of the second. During intermission, Tom took both he and Scott aside and said he wanted to put Leo back in. Scott shrugged. He’d always been the more easygoing of the two men. Their combined personalities meshed well, which translated into a successful goaltending partnership and a friendship that had spanned nearly eight years.
Leo stretched out and took the ice for the third. Their opponent seemed momentarily surprised by another goaltending change but recovered quickly and gave the Intimidators a challenge. In the end, Leo got the win by one goal. After accepting the congratulations of his teammates, he bopped Scott on the head as they left the ice together. “Kelly’s is on you tonight, bro,” Scott said.
Leo snorted. He’d been expecting no less. “Not a problem. I hope she made apple pie.”
“She always makes apple pie if there’s a home game.”
They rushed through their postgame interviews and hopped into the shower. Only a half hour after the buzzer, they were climbing into Leo’s Range Rover on their way to Kelly’s. When they walked in, she turned from behind the counter to greet them. Leo caught sight of her luscious tits straining the material of her T-shirt and his dick twitched. He quickly ran his hand over it.
Down, boy.
“Hey guys. Good game, both of you.”
“Thanks,” they answered in unison, sliding onto stools.
“How about some apple pie?” Leo said, licking his lips already. An image of him nibbling pieces of it off of her flew into his head. Man, was he horny tonight…
Kelly put her hands on her hips. “You know better than that. I never let you have apple pie until after you eat a good meal.”
Leo rolled his eyes. “Fine.” Perusing the specials written on a chalkboard underneath the TV, he ordered shepherd’s pie. Scott asked for a chicken souvlaki wrap, and they settled back to relax as Kelly went into the kitchen to make their food. “I fuckin’ love those T-shirts. I’d give up a mil of my salary just to be that T-shirt for a day.”
“Don’t I know it…” Since it was late, Kelly was waiting tables herself, in addition to cooking, and both of them tracked her as she bustled around behind the counter. Coming back over, she poured them both ice waters and plopped silverware in front of them before going into the back once again. There were still a few customers, but everyone gave the Intimidators their privacy here—it was one of the reasons Leo and Scott loved to come here so much. The primary reason, of course, was Kelly herself.
“Okay, so let’s go over everything again—make sure we’re on the same page here,” Leo urged.
“All right. Can’t hurt. We need to present a united front if we’re gonna do this.”
“Exactly. So both of us want her.” They’d been attracted to Kelly since the moment they’d laid eyes on her, but had come to the realization a few months ago that their feelings ran deeper than simple lust.
Scott nodded, his eyes as determined and focused as Leo had ever seen them. “Yes, we both want her, and the only way that will work is if we share her. But we need to make it clear at some point, maybe not right up front, that we want her more than just sex.”
“And we think tonight is the night?”
“She’s definitely intrigued.” Scott paused and Leo could practically see the wheels turning in his friend’s head. “Even when we mentioned a threesome last week, she didn’t run.”
“Yeah, and did you see the expression on her face? She wants it.”
“I think so, too. But don’t forget. We can’t push her too hard. And everything one of us does affects the other. We can’t let her tear us apart, and if this thing starts to do that, we need to reconsider.”
“Agreed,” Leo answered. He held up his fist. “Even now, even with Kelly, bros over hos, man.” The two men did a quick fist bump and Leo relaxed a little.
A few minutes later, Kelly backed out of the kitchen, her arms laden with plates, and both men paused to admire her ass in her tight chef’s pants. She caught them staring and just shook her head, laughing.
Yes, they were done waiting for her to come around. It was time to put Operation Seduction into action.
Copyright 2011, Cassandra Carr

http://www.booksbycassandracarr.com/images/cc-bi-headgames3.jpg

Here’s the entire first chapter of Head Games (Buffalo Intimidators 1), my new release. You can get it at http://www.bookstrand.com/head-games, or find out more information on my website at http://www.booksbycassandracarr.com.