Female body image is a huge hot-button topic right now. I know this is a shock, so I’ll give you a moment to digest that….
Okay, that’s long enough.
We’ve all heard a joke like this one:
“Fucking a fat chick is like riding a moped. It’s fun until your friends find out.”
We’ve all heard someone cluck their tongue disapprovingly at a larger woman who dares to eat more than one celery stick and one carrot (and may God have mercy on her soul if said woman uses ranch dressing or any other condiment to jazz up her meal) at an all-you-can-eat buffet. “Maybe she shouldn’t be eating at a buffet if she looks like that.”
How about this particular epithet: “Chubby chaser?” This applies to men who dare to buck the societal pressure to try to score a supermodel nymphomaniac whose father owns a Lamborghini dealership and a chain of liquor stores.

Before you get all offended, and I’m taking it as an article of faith that someone WILL be offended by something I’ve said above, I want you to bear in mind that this is ME talking here. These jokes and snide remarks offend me just as much as they do you. The only reason they’re here at all is to set a context for the rest of this post.
When I was *kaff kaff hack kaff* years old, Sir Mix-A-Lot put out “Baby Got Back,” an ode to the more curvacious figure.
While the imagery in the video is edgy, bordering on vulgar, it nevertheless continues to serve as a power anthem for guys who would knock over a malnourished stick figure to get to the side of a curvier woman. Even so, guys who appreciate the more Rubenesque figure continue to take shit from the establishment, in much the same way as their preferred women are deluged by advertising and both overt and subtly disapproving societal messages saying that to be a few (or more than a few) pounds overweight is bad and shameful. Guys get this same crap in a different form: “You’re so handsome and intelligent. Can’t you raise your standards a bit, hmm? There’s a good lad…shuffle off and go find yourself a woman who rattles every time you make love to her, so you won’t embarrass yourself or the people who want to associate with you.” Women get a bad rap if they can’t fit into a size three dress; men get guilt by association.
BUT let me make this distinction right here: if you put gravy on and in everything, including your ice cream and coffee, or you pack away four breakfasts at Denny’s every morning, then yeah, munching a few celery sticks and trying to keep the gravy out of your coffee probably won’t kill you. This applies just as much to guys as women, in case anyone’s wondering. These are not the people I’m talking about here.
Some people win the genetic lottery and can eat any amount of anything without ever gaining an ounce, while some people can’t look at a piece of penny candy without putting on five pounds. Some people are physiologically predisposed to be larger than others, while some people enjoy the kind of insanely fast metabolism that lets them do two crunches a week and be in the same physical condition as an MMA fighter.
Women enchant me. Women of all shapes and sizes, colors, nationality, and ages. (At or above the age of legal consent, naturally; don’t let’s make this weird or creepy, shall we?) There are some women I want nothing to do with, but this is almost universally a matter of their attitude and the airs they put on and not anything physical. (Although it goes without saying I do have certain personal preferences and proclivities with regards to a woman’s body, just like everyone else.)
So, let’s have a comparison, shall we?
The picture on the left is the “typically desirable” woman. And there’s no question she is beautiful and fun to look at. If she loses five pounds, however, those fascinating curves will likely vanish, leaving only skin and bones. Some guys are into that, and if that’s you, as Katt Williams said, “Do you, Boo-boo.” Nice to look at, but not for me at a probable size 2 to 4 at the high end.
However, take the picture on the right. While she is apparently larger than the other women, I appreciate her body type more because it’s fuller. Additionally, she’s facing the camera with an attitude of unconscious sensuality and an open pose that invites the viewer to make their own judgments while not implying in any way that the viewer’s judgment has any particular effect on her. In my opinion, this makes her the clear winner of the contest (if it can be called a contest at all; see below for more on this). This woman is probably a size 12 to 14. According to an article on WebMD, this is about average for a woman standing 5’4″ in the USA as of this post.
All of this does have a point. When I sat down and got to thinking about my next novel, I wanted to do a paranormal. Unfortunately, there are a number of reasons why another paranormal isn’t in the cards right now. (A discerning reader can probably figure out that most of these reasons link back to one word that has been conspicuous by its absence of late around here.) So that’s kind of off the table for the time being.
Luckily for me, all was not lost. I’ve often thought about doing a BBW romance, maybe something with a little edge to it. Come on, it’s J.S. Wayne…of course there’s gotta be an edge! Speaking of edges, guess what the whole Fifty Shades thing does to my teeth? So that was the second component: a little BDSM. (Okay, okay…more than a little.)
I didn’t want a heroine who felt the need to go on a diet, and I found it in Regina, a Caucasian size twenty. She’s tried all the diets, all the medical marvels, does all the right things…same old story, her weight never fluctuates by more than ten pounds. So of course she’s got more than her fair share of body image issues, especially when she wanders by Victoria’s Secret and realizes she can’t fit into any of the fluffy, frilly confections on offer or hears someone making a smartass remark whether she orders a skinny latte or an Italian soda with extra cream.
Now enter our hero: an Afro-American artist named Marcus Pike. When he sees Regina in the cafe, the first thing he does is approach her about posing for him as the model for a triptych piece he’s working on. This guy makes Shemar Moore look a little plain to our heroine, and once he establishes his bona fides as an artist and not some guy running a con, she agrees (with reservations) to pose for him. The stage is set for a blazing hot romance, or a bitter disappointment on both sides.
The working title for this novel is Artistic License, and I’m hoping to have it done by May 2nd. I’m really excited about this project, because I think it sends a very important message at a time when it’s really needed. Even better, it gives me a chance to examine various stereotypes and biases and do a little social commentary, something I think has been missing in any overt way in my work of late.
And because it’s my name on it, you know the romance…and the sex…will melt your monitor!
I know this is an unusually long post, especially lately, but I’m curious to see what other people have to say about the body image issue. Feel free to drop a comment and weigh in! In the meantime, I’m off to get a bit more work done.
Have a great week, y’all! And ladies, the next time someone makes a comment about your body (whatever shape or size), remember there’s someone out there who thinks you are the most beautiful woman on earth. Haters are going to hate, but don’t let them make you hate you.
ETA: I received this comment shortly after posting:
Until next time,
Best,
J.S. Wayne





You know me, everyone should be happy and healthy. I would just like to point out a side that perhaps most people won’t have considered about all of this. What about those of us who are a size 2 – 4 and are still happy and healthy? I know your attitude is just fine but due to this, ‘healthy body image’ thing, there are plenty of people who will swing the other way and call women like me anorexic, stick thin, blah blah. Yes, I am a size 2 – 4. Yes, you can see my ribs but ya know what? I am very happy and healthy. I can also kick the ass of men twice my size, so that crap about breaking me in bed? Ha!
People need to stop putting everyone into nice little boxes. As both you and Kewangii said – beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Don’t have a go at someone because of their body shape any more than you would their skin colour.
You are, of course, correct. I thought my parting comment at the end made that point, but perhaps I didn’t give it due attention.
Could be, or it could be far too early with too little sleep this end
It occurs to me as well that I lingered heavily on the physical aspects of women in this post. People who are familiar with me and my work know that I find personality and intelligence to be infinitely more attractive than any configuration of physical characteristics. However, because body image is so intimately linked to physicality, it seemed reasonable at the time.
Hmm it looks like your website ate my first comment (it was extremely long) so
I guess I’ll just sum it up what I submitted and say, I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog.
I too am an aspiring blog blogger but I’m still new to everything. Do you have any points for newbie blog writers? I’d genuinely
appreciate it.
Thank you!
I have three suggestions.
First, delete the word “aspiring” from your dictionary. If you’re doing the work, you’re a writer.
Second, look for hot topics and give your own spin on them. Could be books, movies, politics, money, whatever. Find things you’re good at writing about and do them.
Third, there are paying websites for bloggers, such as Textbroker.com. Do your research and make sure any site you choose is reputable and pays in a timely fashion, but if the place checks out, there’s no reason you can’t make decent money at it!
Hey JS, I’m at the other end of the issue from Shen, having brought myself down from a not healthy weight to a size 20. The same as people come in all shapes and sizes, so should our characters, but very few thin people carry memories of a boyfriend asking them not to hang around in public since they were mocked for having such a skinny girlfriend. It generally goes the other way. I’d say any time you wrote a convincing character with a positive body image, whatever size or shape they might be, you’ve created someone we’re going to want to read about.
O_o That’s…brutal.
I’ve taken some grief from people I frankly expected better from over my choice of female companions, but I like what I like, so whatever. 
I don’t know that Regina has a positive body image to start with (she’s reluctant to let Marcus draw her; the first thing she thinks is that he’s having her on), but I damn sure intend to make sure she ends up with one!
Thanks for stopping by, Mona!
My contemporary erotic romances have women of all sizes. My men aren’t over-muscle-bound either, since I don’t want to insinuate there is only one kind of attractive man. I have a brother, 3 sons and a husband who all insist that they prefer women with curves, and greatly dislike skinny females with artificial breasts that look like they will explode. The media has a lot to answer for, but don’t even get me started on the devaluing of intelligence and the need to make us all unhappy with ourselves so we will buy whatever magic elixir they are selling to make everything all right.
Interesting post. Funny isn’t it, how the same men who insult each other for dating larger women, don’t find it odd at all when TV shows depict fat men with hot, skinny young wives? The double-standard is alive and well.
I couldn’t agree more, Fiona.
The sad part is that many of those men who get these “trophy wives” (hate that term, BTW, but there it is) are trying to reassure themselves that they are as virile and attractive as they ever were.
I zeroed in specifically on women in this post…but I’m thinking a follow-up on MALE body image issues is in order.
Thanks so much for stopping by!
Good post. Yes media and society suck and they make people miserable for being anything and everything. Poor, fat, skinny, hairy, bald, different: really it doesn’t matter what the person being ridiculed looks like just as long as someone suffers. Sad but true.
I think we make our characters out to be ideals…romance is infamous for it-rippling muscular men, tiny waisted-big boob vixens…because that’s the sexy ideal, and that’s what’s going to sell the books. Other genres that aspect is a little toned down because they’re not going for eroticism.
In truth, it’s a shame. We box our characters into molds because that’s what the readers want. If we were true to our characters they’d be more realistic. Our leading ladies would swoon over the lanky armed-big nosed guy changing her tire on a dark rainy night, and our leading males would adore their plain-Janes.
Thanks, Kierce!
I agree. The funny part is that there are SO many double standards. “Eat this insanely expensive chocolate and it’ll turn you into the woman of his dreams!” “Use this low-cal spread and a Latin hunk will show up to bake you fresh bread with his shirt off!” How the hell do you win?
Tune in tomorrow when I look at the other side of the equation: The guys.
Thanks for dropping in!
Having been on a “diet” since I was 9 years old, your comments are insightful and not enough people understand the issue of genetics. Having had every shot, pill, diet, and club membership, or
diet food supplier over the years I’ve tried them all. I’ve exercised to the “oldies” I’ve done treadmills, after decades of trying to please everyone else I decided to just be me. A positive self image goes a long way towards other people’s perception of you. I look forward to reading Regina and Marcus’ story. After reading Melanie and Ben’s story, I know it will be written with sensitivity.
Thanks, Pat! *blushes*
I sincerely hope so. I’ve wanted to write a BBW heroine for a while, but the time and circumstances never seemed to work out until now. Looking it over now, I think it’s long past time we had more “real women” in romance.
Thanks for dropping by!
Hi JS! Thanks for a great blog; my heroines have always been fuller figured and I’m very proud of that–I’m proud of you for feeling and writing the same way. It’s interesting too, minutes before reading this blog I was watching a music video from the group Steel Panther; a gorgeous and talented group of musicians with a great sense of humor. Anyway, in this performance clip, the band’s smexy bassist is performing a kick ass rendition of Billy Idol’s Rebel Yell, all the while flanked by some very attractive fans who–on average–were about 12-16 in size. After enjoying the clip I took a peek at the comments, only to read about six declarations of “Who let the FAT CHICKS on stage?” So apparently if you’re not a size two, you’re not allowed to attend concerts, dance, or enjoy music. Well all I have to say is kudos to Steel Panther and ‘f u’ to the commenters who probably aren’t that hawt themselves. That is all.:)
Thank you so much, Megan!
I’m really glad you enjoyed it.
I kinda dig that point of view, myself…
Someone reacting to this blog recently told me that men like to date women they can bench press. And there are a lot of weak men out there.
Thanks for stopping by!